His hands touched my face
His eyes focused into mine
His lips met my lips
His fingertips felt my scars
Skin to Skin
Eye to Eye
For a moment Soul to Soul
As his hands touched my body I fought my mind
Knowing the only touch I had ever received was not kind
The voices that flooded my brain
The yelling, screaming, demeaning voices
Would I ever fight what was drilled into my mind
I could hear the kindness
But all I felt was fear
Was I another award he hoped to achieve
Another body
Another soul awarded in the game of life
He saw straight through me
He stopped
He spoke
But all I heard was the voices overwhelming in the dark
Knowing I had shown someone the deepest parts of my soul
Knowing another had touched my bare traumatized skin to the bone
My mind flooded with fear for all I felt was love
I knew the battle with my mind was going to be the fight of love over life
He wasn't like the others
But what if he was.
What if I was just another number
Another body
Another soul
Awarding himself in this game we call life
I have felt the angry hands placed upon me
I have known the tactics and manipulation
I have been "just a girl I fucked"
I have been the one discarded when men award themselves after one time
I have been here before
I hope he sees that with him the voices went silent
I hope he knows that my guard went down
I hope he knows the battle I went through
As his hands touched my face I felt safe
As his eyes looked into mine I saw a future
As his lips met my lips I knew it was right
As his fingertips felt my scars I felt my skin become smooth like nothing had ever been wrong
Skin to skin
Eye to eye
Two souls had become ONE
All for uncertainty and left feeling numb